I have not been gentle: My struggle with incredulity

I have a confession to make:  I have not been very gentle this year.  I’ve struggled with gentle reactions to things that have transpired that I simply cannot believe.  I’ve tried - I’ve actually kept myself from responding to a number of things I’ve found simply outrageous.  And at other times, I’ve found myself unable to stay silent.  Generally, I’m a calm, composed, and quiet person, and take time to process my thoughts prior to careful and measured statements.  Reflecting back on this year, there are a number of times I aired my thoughts quite sarcastically, bordering on mockery, despite careful thought on the matters at hand.

So what’s the big deal about that?  Well, since I claim identity as a Christian, and since I believe what God has revealed concerning the Holy Spirit, and since one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is gentleness, I’m aware I’ve been coming up short recently, in manifesting His gentleness, which He has freely given to those who believe and are willing to receive it.  I can do better - it simply comes down to a choice.  Hopefully, with gentle reminders from God through the Holy Spirit, I will do better.

So what have I been so incredulous about that has caused me to speak without gentleness?  It starts with how I’m wired.  I’m educated and trained as a scientist.  Above all else, I’m a thinker - I’m a thinker on top of a thinker, according to Kahler’s Process Communication Model.  I have a long history of stepping outside of issues to evaluate them empirically, utilizing the best information possible, and as free of bias and prejudice as possible.  I reject arguments based on hearsay, and avoid things like motivated reasoning and tribalism. I like to think I have pretty good discernment with regard to validity of information, as well as matters related to the Christian mission.

My incredulity is actually with beliefs and actions of fellow Christians primarily, and to be more specific, a segment of American evangelical Christians.  I’m really not concerned about the beliefs and actions of those outside of Christianity, although I might on occasion offer an opinion on some issue where the secular majority is heading down a ridiculous path.

So what beliefs and actions of these certain American evangelical Christians is so distressing as to have provoked less than gentle responses?  It’s pretty simple, actually.  It comes down to the idolatry of President Trump, and what has manifested as a result of that idolatry.  Clear and conspicuous idolatry.  It was literally unbelievable (and as of today, still is, and maybe even more so, as the days go by).

Since I am concerned that I may veer off a calm and gentle path, I’ll leave it to Ron Cantor to explain, as he has done as good of a job as possible being humble and gentle in explaining how a large portion of American evangelical Christians got off the straight and narrow path.  I do hope you will read his post - it's a voice I feel is very much needed right now. At the moment, he appears to be the sole contrarian voice within the vocal evangelical community, and I'm ok with that. It is called the narrow path, after all. Like Ron, I also expect some Christians will contend strongly with this perspective.  Yet, I have felt as Ron has, for probably the past two years now, as the regard fellow Christians ascribed to President Trump grew and grew.  I simply could not believe what has been unfolding in front of my eyes - otherwise good, sincere, loving people blinded by political power, and blinded to the anti-Christ nature of the President, affording him absolute support and allegiance, and dismissing and even defending his many transgressions.  It made me angry and frustrated with American evangelicalism, which I thought I was a part of.  I’ve done my best not to lash out at my Christian family, but I could barely keep my displeasure and disillusionment contained.  After all, it is possible for God to use a disbeliever to accomplish His purposes. This episode, and attempting to not aggressively speaking out about it, has been among the greatest challenges to my Christian character that I can remember.

The good news is that there are a LOT of praying Christians right now, and their praying for God’s will to be done concerning the election, and for the truth to be known, and for deception and lies to be revealed.  As one self-proclaimed American Christian prophet declared in a prayer I listened to this morning, “I decree falsehoods will no longer be allowed to masquerade as facts and reality in America.  Truth will be our guide.”  Indeed, and even though he was speaking as one firmly convinced of God’s will for President Trump to lead the country for another four years, God is going to answer his prayer, and the prayers of millions of evangelicals who are crying out for God to expose the lies and deception, and reveal the truth.  God will do exactly this, and as is often the case, in a way those that pray do not expect.  There will be some difficult days ahead for a large part of the evangelical Christian community - I hope and pray they will receive their direction from God.

Finally, like Ron, if by some miracle of God, President Trump remains as president, I will be among the first to proclaim it is clearly by the will of God.  Yet, there’s not an ounce of my physical or spiritual being that feels such an outcome is aligned with what I know about God, His will for humankind, and His purposes for His people.